well, yeah, limbo, actually, my brain is in a mess! life isn't really different, still generally struggling through every minute of it, constantly questioning everything in my head, constantly trying to re-evaluate, re-order, re-arrange things in there.. it always fails, but this time, i really really really am gonna try and sort it out.
things that are being worked on in the house should all be fixed up and sorted out nice over the course of the next month or so, and already a few things are falling into place, and after 18 months of being here, some corners of it are starting to feel like home, with it I feel like I've turned into a pure obsessive compulsive though.. anyway, fingers crossed we can get things warm and as they should be over the coming month or two, and before/after pictures will be posted.
things with reth are mint, plenty of gigs lined up, recording imminent, new songs on the go, all good
things with raw nerve the club night are going pretty well, the site not so well, but also not really been pushing things that much recently.. there is going to be another sparcing of this, and generally my life of a few things/projects that i know i'm never going to be able to totally fulfil to its potential, so that i can dedicate more of my time to less things and more people.
things in my brain since turning 30 just won't shut up.
ten times a day (actually screw that, ten times a minute more like) i think about slaughtering some ignorant fuck who is just a waste of time and oxygen. and i don't necessarily mean 'oh, wish they'd fuck off' blah blah, i mean actually picturing in my head what i'd do to make them suffer, to torture them..
maybe i watch too many films.
maybe i like grind/gore metal too much.
either way, fuck it, the people i'm on about are none of you lot, the people that 'know' (and if you know what i mean, then you 'know'), or the people that at least try to 'know' or try to give a fuck.. i'm just on about the nameless, the faceless, the fuck all out there, of which 99% of this shit-tip of a planet are.
broccoli however is awesome! it never used to be awesome in my life, but it is now, i want to eat some now!
basically, all this post is saying is that 'i'm gonna try, i'm gonna sort my life out, and i'm starting already.'
so, to any friends or people out there that read this, thanks to everyone who is actually really REALLY my friend, and thanks to those that have believed/stuck up for me/said genuine things/said anything when there was an opportunity to say something, wherever you are in the world, it honestly means a lot.
yes, i'm going through some kind of catharsis! did you notice!