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Paul Raw Nerve Speaks [entries|friends|calendar]

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[09 Jun 2007|05:26pm]

here is a list of the stuff available right at this very minute.. (9th june 5.30pm)
most of it has either 1, 2 or 3 days left to go...

there will be loads more things added in the coming few days too, but this is as it stands now (hope people don't mind the little ebay keywords at the end)

Alice In Chains - s/t (seattle, nirvana, soundgarden)
one man and his blunderbuss - s/t grind fast tech metal
Gorelord - Norwegian Chainsaw Massacre (necrophagia)
Remembering Never - She Looks So Good (riffs, ferret)
Fear Factory - Demanufacture classic metal industrial
Cave In - Jupiter Limited Hydrahead Converge Prog rock
Churn - 12 Easy Steps (Napalm Death fear factory)
mendeed 4 song demo thrash nuclear blast rare hardcore
Zillah - Substitute for... mastodon tech gorguts dep
Stinking Lizaveta - Caught Between.. stoner sludge doom
arkhon - i am the skull cradle of filth death thrash
Wehrwolfe - Godless We Stand decapitated necrophagist
amok - hephaistos technical death atheist meshuggah
perverse - blunt of stench polish dying fetus grind
Defenestration - Ray Zero female nu stoner rock
wisdom in chains - s/t - dutch old school punk hardcore
hondo maclean - chasing angels ep rare ffaf bsf refused
Wasted - Suppress And Restrain fast drunken punk rock
lunatic gods - the wilderness doom death black
burnt offering - walk of the dead thrash death gore
manipulated slaves - blue flame thrash power japan
hondo maclean - plans for a better day argento ffaf bsf
mortuary iod - distorted massacre dutch death thrash
mutilation - conflict inside vader decapitated exmortem
eminence - humanology fear factory sepultura thrash
melancholy pessimism - evil planet grind czech death
incandescence - chapter two orbital orb fsol aphex dark
Jungle Rot - Slaughter The Weak malevolent creation
pogrom - trotzperiode - black argentina dark metal
breaking days - if only.. poison the well boysetsfire
eye of phetkanha - in the light.. aphex lull orb fsol
Deinonychus - Ark Of Thought weird dark death black
crowning glory - path to glory power heavy thrash
von sirius - mystical doktryn kraftwerk amorphis ulver
Astro Zombies AD - Mutants misfits danzig covers
Ultralord - We Hate You.. sludge eyehategod kreator
December Wolves - dehumanised - fear factory berzerker
horrid - hidden spheres entombed avulsed xtreem
incandescence - all sound's synthetic orbital orb aphex
Nine Inch Nails - And All That Could Have Been LIVE 2CD nice box
mayhem - Grand Declaration.. norway black metal masters digipak
divine empire - redemption malevolent creation entombed
sea of tranquility - the omegan ruins death prog thrash
pandemia - spreading the message dying fetus malevolent
grimforce - Circulation To Confusion black thrash japan
paimon - metamorphine arch enemy carcass at the gates
incandescence - chapter one orb fsol gathering ulver
tomorrow's victim/perverse/moulded flesh 3 way grind cd
cvi - forensic necrovulvectomy gore grind sick
uhrilehto - vitutus millenium / behexen horna gorgoroth
incandescence - chapter one, the second phase
ascension - s/t death cadaver opeth necrophagist
ascension - walking on t/psychopath death opeth cadaver
Opera IX - Maleventum dark doom death cadaveria black
Fk the facts / MiaM / NoR 99 song 3 way grind split cd
Destinity - Synthetic Existence SYL Fear My Thoughts
neglected fields - splenetic technical death latvia
Lux Occulta - Dionysos (CD 2000)
vore - maleficus (vader, deicide, usurper, immolation)
carnal lust - whore of violence (vader, malcre, d/fetus
incandescence - floating spirits filmscore minimal afx
ghoulunatics - king of the undead (necrophagia gore)
faith no more - last cup of sorrow SINGLE
kabbal - synthetically revived vader suffocation death
despondency - exposing misery's design DEATH METAL!!!!!

stalingrad - politics of ecstacy 7" PICTURE DISC EP
disembodied - the confession 7" pre martyr ad chug mint
pearl jam - spin black circle 7" seattle grunge legends
intumescence / camp split 7" dutch grind napalm death
pearl jam - who you are 7"
cecil - my neck 7" grunge metal
among the missing & red stars parade split 7" sludge
stories & comets - face for radio 7" emo rock hardcore
zorn - heftig aufflammender unwille7" black crust grind
carol - prefabricated 7" systral morser acme arkangel
spread the disease - blood ridden 7" - carcass zao atg
systral acheborn split 7" morser acme arkangel carcass
wojczech - mother 7" PICTURE DISC grind fast
liar / family of dog 7" SPLIT Fanzine only release!
morning again - my statement of life 7" w/ mint booklet
fu manchu - asphalt rising 7" clear red vinyl
deadfood / irritant split 7 burgundy vinyl bungle grind
L7 - Pretend that we're dead - Bright red vinyl 7"
7 year bitch - rock a bye baby 7" rare clear blue vinyl
therapy? - teethgrinder 7" numbered light purple vinyl
the almighty - all sussed out - 7" clear vinyl
cecil - no excuses - 7" white vinyl
7 year bitch - EP 10" PICTURE DISC rare hand numbered

first lot of videos and dvds (more coming in a couple of days)
HONEYMOON IN VEGAS nick cage sarah jessica parker caan
FAUST re-animator demons action horror metal soundtrack

click any part of the text to see the page..
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la la la. damn i'm so fucking tired! [12 Jan 2007|09:08am]
okay, another post here, ramble, bibble, bimble, fwibble, whatever it is.. it'll be shit either way! haha.

am going to york for a couple nights from straight after work, with sarah, to chill out, to disappear from the madness.. then got a RETH practise on sunday, to throw myself probably straight back into the madness once more! but it will be nice to just disappear for a couple days.

then, once i get back, the proper post-30 birthday purge and sparcing shall begin properly..

steps are being taken to finish off a music project that me and Dan SRM (glasgae boy) started in the summer of 2006, and i wanna do some more music projects during 2007, but other than that, it's all gonna be about catching up, tying up loose ends from when i was younger and things i started years ago.. getting all that done so i can leave it behind me.

the house is a mess, there is mud everywhere downstairs.. there is a massive pool of water covering the entire cellar, but today proceedings start to drain it and begin laying the floor, so good luck el smigg and wolfie!

hmm, i just realised there ain't much in this post, oh well, apologies for wasting your time, but felt the need..

off to work now, bets are on as to if i can stay awake for the full duration, i think i won't! today is all about drinking shit loads of coffee and eating fish-in-a-submarine-roll-butty at dinner time from the canteen!! woohaa!!!
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frankly my limbo, i don't give a DAMMIT!!! [10 Jan 2007|12:26am]
[ mood | contemplative ]

okay, i don't know what that subject means either, sorry.

well, yeah, limbo, actually, my brain is in a mess! life isn't really different, still generally struggling through every minute of it, constantly questioning everything in my head, constantly trying to re-evaluate, re-order, re-arrange things in there.. it always fails, but this time, i really really really am gonna try and sort it out.

things that are being worked on in the house should all be fixed up and sorted out nice over the course of the next month or so, and already a few things are falling into place, and after 18 months of being here, some corners of it are starting to feel like home, with it I feel like I've turned into a pure obsessive compulsive though.. anyway, fingers crossed we can get things warm and as they should be over the coming month or two, and before/after pictures will be posted.

things with reth are mint, plenty of gigs lined up, recording imminent, new songs on the go, all good

things with raw nerve the club night are going pretty well, the site not so well, but also not really been pushing things that much recently.. there is going to be another sparcing of this, and generally my life of a few things/projects that i know i'm never going to be able to totally fulfil to its potential, so that i can dedicate more of my time to less things and more people.

things in my brain since turning 30 just won't shut up.
ten times a day (actually screw that, ten times a minute more like) i think about slaughtering some ignorant fuck who is just a waste of time and oxygen. and i don't necessarily mean 'oh, wish they'd fuck off' blah blah, i mean actually picturing in my head what i'd do to make them suffer, to torture them..
maybe i watch too many films.
maybe i like grind/gore metal too much.
either way, fuck it, the people i'm on about are none of you lot, the people that 'know' (and if you know what i mean, then you 'know'), or the people that at least try to 'know' or try to give a fuck.. i'm just on about the nameless, the faceless, the fuck all out there, of which 99% of this shit-tip of a planet are.

broccoli however is awesome! it never used to be awesome in my life, but it is now, i want to eat some now!

basically, all this post is saying is that 'i'm gonna try, i'm gonna sort my life out, and i'm starting already.'

so, to any friends or people out there that read this, thanks to everyone who is actually really REALLY my friend, and thanks to those that have believed/stuck up for me/said genuine things/said anything when there was an opportunity to say something, wherever you are in the world, it honestly means a lot.

yes, i'm going through some kind of catharsis! did you notice!

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30! [31 Dec 2006|03:45pm]
[ mood | blah ]

I'm 30 today!
I could whine on about being old and decrepit and past it and all of those things, but those who are 30 know what i'm probably feeling today, and those who aren't will probably just call me really old!

I need breakfast, tea and toast it has to be, thank fuck for routines sometimes.
Not in the best of spirits though being honest.
Oh well

Reth are now on Live Journal, from here we shall conquer the world! Well, probably annoy some more people! ;-)

Shall see some of you tonight at ours.

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Reth are now on Myspace.... [31 Dec 2006|03:34pm]
The skeletal beginnings of a Reth Live Journal page has now been created, so please, click the banner below, come and check it out, and check out the band page on Myspace for songs and more information in the meantime. If you like the sound, then please add us on LJ and MS. Come and say hello, we're lovely people and we play fast! :-)
For fans of grind, technical music, extreme metal, death metal and related mosh activities!!!

RETH Grindfastchuggroovetech! Watch the videos and listen to the songs
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new year's eve / my 30th birthday party... [29 Dec 2006|12:51am]
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2007 Raw Nerve flyer.. do you like it? do you? i hope so! i do! [29 Dec 2006|12:50am]

was made aware that one of the nights is on valentine's night.. what you reckon, should there be an anti-valentine's night? should we exploit this fact, god knows how, but yeah, answers on a postcard to http://paulrawnerve.livejournal.com please.
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a quick catch up... [29 Dec 2006|12:48am]
so, i hope you all had a good christmas, i drunk loads, ate loads, had fun at sarah's parents house for a few days, been at home on my own for a few days whilst sarah stayed there.. cleared the cellar out, took aaaaages, did some posting around about my birthday night (which is tonight (technically) 29th, come to it aye), did some shouting about reth, myspace whoring generally, tidying generally etc. etc... things, been to work, not slept much...

there is a new raw nerve club flyer, will post that shortly, there is a new year's eve party flyer, will post that shortly..

tonight i met up with bug, ian and conan and discussed a new metal night, the first night of which will be on the 21st february at subculture.. doing a nice big mix of things, i'm gonna be handling more strictly the grindcore and metal/hardcore side of things, conan the hard rock, stoner and classic metal/thrash, and bug handling death and black metal, with a few other random bits thrown in.. should be mint though. look out for that.

tomorrow i'm up at 6, to sort a few more bits out.. skip being delivered at 730 to clear all the stuff that's in the living room and the garden from the mass clear out, and smiggy is round early to start on making the cellar vaguely inhabitable, then i'm off to work for 10, spending another boring dead day there whilst there is no work to do wishing i was in bed, and then home, bath, pub, smash, party at subculture!!


should Live Journal be all about my inner most deep thoughts and feelings?
really, you don't want to know, some of it would make your head implode, some of it might make you look at me in a different light, some of it you might relate with, who knows..

we'll see how drunk i get the next time i remember to log in to LJ and i might spin you a long ramble about the inner workings of this brain..

is that what you want!? cos that's what might/could/probably shouldn't happen!
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Further to my rants about fucking it all up yesterday. [21 Dec 2006|11:30am]
[ mood | Closer to crying than anything ]

I slept in big style today, and wasted a lot of hours last night!

I start work at 10, I woke up at 11.


Well fucked up again. That's the big dinner break that I was going to have today to get last bits of Christmas shopping and things sorted gone out of the window straight away!

I don't want to go outside today, it all feels well wrong!

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Shortish one (that's the intention anyway)! [21 Dec 2006|12:30am]
Crap. All of it. All of my existence just feels crap.
I've gone back to work at the start of last week, and it feels like I've got no time to do anything, and any time I do have I can't get going with anything! It's shit, and a vicious circle as well.
I can't seem to lift myself up into anything like the ballpark of motivation, I can't seem to stop things just going wrong at the wrong times.
Crappy things, little things, but they're the ones that get to me the most.

I cried twice today, smashed up a bookcase, starved myself until I was in excruciating pain at about 1 (got up at 4.30am!) and then gorged on shitloads of food at the christmas food gathering thing in our department. I emailed and texted with a few different people, had a really long bath, and now, once again, bit of time to do stuff, and can't be arsed!

I wish I could automate everything.

I wish things, anything, would go according to plan. You know when you have something in yer mind, a course for something to follow, it would be so great (and refreshing, and a total shock to the system and I would probably die) if it actually followed that course for once and actually came out the other side feeling like Mission Accomplished!

I've not had that feeling for many a year now.

I get the feeling I'm not gonna have it again for many a year to come! Maybe that's just my mindset being pessimistic, but why should things change when the things that stop it all going to plan are virtually always out of my control.

I rely too much on things not breaking, on people to 'do the business', on people to be nice when they should be, on myself to remember every lesson I've ever learnt in each waking second, and none of this ever happens. Everything seems to break and at the time when it is most imperative that it doesn't. People piss me off no end, so many times in the last few months have I been really close to actually beating someone to death in the street, in my mind I've done it, and loved it, and would have done it again, in my mind... but, alas, no, it doesn't happen for real.

I'm sure you've all yawned several yawns by now, and said 'Oh for fuck's sake emo bastard, cheer up and get on with'... well, generally I do, that's probably why most people don't know that I am a paranoid, depressive, anti-social wreckhead (that bit they probably do know), who is more insecure than a really insecure thing having a particular bad emotional day, I am a complete nervous wreck inside virtually all the time, and to be honest, I still hate myself, my actions and my complete feeling of regret and uselessness in every situation, as much as I did when I was a non bearded, non 'cool' (yeah whatever) and non-entity early teenager human waste.

So, in summary.
Brandy! Grindcore! Fuck Christmas! Fuck off work! Fuck off brain, stop being the devil on my shoulder! Fuck off people, all those people that I don't know the names of that are just people out in the great wide! Love to all of you people that I know, I like you lot, it's the rest of the dickheads out there than can all get proper bad painful vicious aids!


And relax!

There, that was pretty short!
Well, sort of.

What's everyone doing over Christmas then? Owt nice planned?
Here's my rough itinerary.
23rd - Go to my mum's
24th/25th/26th - Go to Salford to Sarah's parents house, and drink copious amounts of wine, brandy and make a show of myself.
Night of 26th, hopefully get back to Leeds, go visit my Auntie for an hour or so
27th - Back to work
29th - My birthday do at Subculture, come along, it's a quid in for a friday night! MINT! Joint night with Arthur and Jonny V.
Probably be some gathering at ours after, especially for those travelling
31st - My actual birthday, there will be booze, there will be party, there will be announcements when we know what we're up to.
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made a quick new flyer for birthday bash fun!!! [08 Dec 2006|01:08pm]

i love that site!
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stuff an' t'ings [08 Dec 2006|12:00pm]
okay, first up, a question, how many of you actually read this LJ these days? am i just unpopular as i disappeared and used the hated (by LJ users anyway) Myspace for such a long time, or is LJ just not as populated these days? or is it just my own friends list that don't read it that much these days?

either way, i shall witter on regardless..

i was supposed to flyer at the cockpit last night, but fucked it off after going outside for about 2 minutes, i despise windy weather, i hate winter, i hate it completely!! it well fucks over my brain.. so yeah, i kinda wasted that opportunity to flyer for the Raw Nerve club on Wednesday (13th).. got drunk with sarah and guy and watched the whole first series of Spaced.. well mint!

so, what are people up to this weekend?
tonight i will be picking up that bass cab as mentioned earlier in the diary of me, taking it round to our drummer's house, and then probably going to frankie at subculture for a bit, even though it ain't my cuppa char, people shalt be around to drink and chatter to, so it's all good..

tomorrow i'm not playing out, because on sunday i am going to an all dayer in london, setting off at 6 in the morning, and returning sometime on monday evening.. not that work know about that, oops!! maybe i should tell them.. i was supposed to be returning to work on monday but ain't gonna be able to do that..

this be the all dayer.. the line up is creamworthy for fans of death metal/extreme stuff...

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told you i'd stick around this time!! [06 Dec 2006|10:53am]
and here i am again.. you sick of me yet?
heh.. well, i'm trying to convince myself that leaving the house is a good idea, even though it's fucking shocking outside again. damn i hate this time of year so much!
i need to go into town, put some posters and flyers around, pick up some flyers for geof, and call in at subculture..
then tonight i'm off to this...

should be a laugh..

cooking a veggie pizza right now.. it's probably burnt, but i'm determined to finish this post first before getting it..

fingers crossed i'll get out of the house by 12.. or even today, maybe even this week!!! :-o

oh yeah, has anyone heard or seen owt of the mighty smiggy smigster? not seen or heard from him at all and he was supposed to be definitely coming over yesterday... hope he's not drunk one too many cans of beeeeeeer.

in a bit all.
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my birthday bash.. december 29th... [05 Dec 2006|06:41pm]
yo, for my 30th birthday, one of the nights out will be held at the subculture.. it's a joint birthday party for me and one of our mates, arthur, (some people on here know him, aussie lad, mint bloke)...

here ist le flyer, more info about the night will follow. the quid entry is just to cover DJs and stuff...

would be mint if some of the people from out of leeds could make it for this, it's a friday night, i'm sure we can sort places out to crash or parties to keep things going afterwards.. so yeah, if you are gonna travel and need somewhere to stay, let us know and we'll sort it ooooot!
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another day another hangover [02 Dec 2006|01:22pm]
[ mood | where is agoraphobic? ]

only a mild one though.. seem to be struggling to stop getting drunk these days..
watched stir of echoes last night for first time in a few years.. what a mint film! kevin bacon is absolutely brilliant in that!

so.. today, a party going on tonight, shall be at that, so another hangover planned for tomorrow, and then sunday got a band practice and then a gig in manchester, so another hangover planned for monday as well!! lush!

i am buying this man tomorrow though as well, so paulie p finally has a full bass rig set up again!!! woohaa!!

nice. i love hartke equipment.

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hope i manage it today! [01 Dec 2006|08:05am]
[ mood | anxious ]

okay, another day, 8am, and this last week i've had so much to do and keep on putting it off, hopefully today i get things sorted..
i've been such a waster of time recently! argh, i fucking despise winter!

smiggy made a start on the house yesterday though, and we are now the proud owners of a big CD shelf unit that actually (just about) houses all our cds.. he's coming over later to put in more shelves to the side and above the computer desk, and possibly a book shelf unit at the other side of the room too..

we're gonna whip him over the next few weeks, plenty to do!!!

will get some pictures posted up in a bit.

so yeah, that's it really.
found a great site last night, for those into a bit of black/death metal, black metal radio with loads of streaming playlists introduced by well known people, listened to one last night from the bloke out of berzerker that was pretty good, and now the singer from Grief of Emerald is playing some mint black metal stuff.. finding some ace new bands to listen to..


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bit hungover! [30 Nov 2006|09:44am]
[ mood | listless ]

so, me and sarah went to see that pan's labryinth last night, i thought it was pretty good, some parts not really grabbing me, but it's a well done mix of fairytale and war commentary stuff set in spain... the 'monster' that's sat at the table though is one of the best things ever!!!!! you'll see if you check it out.

went to revolution for some random vodka intake afterwards, and then sarah had some rum and i drunk a bottle of wine when i got in.. saw geof and will for a bit, they came round to pick up more FETISHMAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNN wooooohoooo flyers..

am a bit hungover now, just the last remnants of a headache swarming around my eyes and nose, but will be reet.. smiggy is coming over in a couple hours to start work on the attic, putting shelves up and such like, not sure my head will be able to handle the drilling!!! argh!!!

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my musics... come listen, please comment... [29 Nov 2006|02:42pm]
so you can check them all out properly.. behind the cut are things to click so you can listen to musics i do ;-)

click for goodie musics/stuff to download etc.Collapse )

please let me know what ya think of all these projects..
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the next gig i'm playing.. [29 Nov 2006|02:16pm]
[ mood | hungry ]

i can't wait for this gig.. i totally love Microsleeper, and doom valley drivers, last chance to dance are both mint, and i like tommy gorilla too, not heard hotbone, sounds v. roooood though!

gonna get absolutely smashed up as fuck and probably collapse in a street in manchester (although hopefully it will be at someone's house that has beer in it instead!)

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christmas Raw Nerve... [29 Nov 2006|02:09pm]
so, it had to happen, i resisted about half an hour before posting this, but did anyway..
next Raw Nerve night....

Get your song requests in, come along and get your christmas presents from us! ;-)

Thanks to Hangman's Joke Records, Undergroove Records, Fetishman Comics, Indigent (Band) for supplying us with presents for every person who comes through the door! Click their names to check out their pages.

so who's gonna come?
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